The Land of Zea (Part 2)

Queenstown

Welcome back, my content-hungry friends!

This Monday’s edition of Theta Thoughts is a continuation of last week’s post. So if you haven’t read that yet — Get Out of Here! It clearly says Part 2..

Get yo ass over to The Land of Zea Part 1 and come on back once you’ve soaked in all them beautiful photos of New Zealand’s south Island and my super handsome face.

But if you have read it, I appreciate your continued support — and by god, are you in the right place. Because we got Queenstown on the agenda, baby!

I say Queens, you say Town... Queens! — this is where you come in

Day 6-9: Queenstown

Quick recap: As you might recall, I snotted myslef on a bike back in Wanaka and jacked up my hand — just before we slithered our way down to Queenstown.

But not before I had the pleasure of shaking this enormous hand.. Pleasure meeting you good sir!

We took the public bus to Queenstown, which was essentially just a minivan with a trailer on the back for all the bags.

Driving into Queenstown through the mountains is absolutely breathtaking — and when you arrive, you're met with a cool little town nestled among massive alpine peaks.

Probably one of the most scenic drives I’ve ever done.

Unfortunately, I don’t have too many photos from the drive — but here’s QT in all its glory!

By the time we got there, we were absolutely famished. So, like any good tourist, we made a beeline for Queenstown’s finest establishment… Fergburger.

The burgers were banging and well worth the hype, in my opinion.

They also gave us the perfect feed right before we went on to tackle The world’s largest swing!

We jumped on this big 4x4 bus from Queenstown that practically went vertical up the side of a mountain before landing us at Nevis Playground — where the bungy and swing were.

I was pretty calm leading up to the swing (probably sedated from the Fergburger), but once we started to climb the mountain in the bus, the nerves kicked in.

For those of you who haven’t seen the video, this is less of a swing and more of a bungy. Except instead of bouncing back up, it swings upwards.

Its hard to describe, but It fucks you down into a valley so quick that you can’t even scream — you’re just absolutely breathless at the beginning.

All I could do was let out an audible gulp as we plummeted and take a quick look at Cass to see the sheer fear in his eyes. Which unsurprisingly put me at ease.

Pro Tip: If you ever want to piss of Cass, all you have to do is serve him a tiny chicken parma and say its on special! Aww I wish I had a picture of his face when this bad boy came out haha. He was so fuming, it was hilarious!

To be fair, its the worst Parma I’ve ever seen.

Milford Sound

Our second day in Queenstown was spent commuting out to Milford Sound — about a 9-hour round trip in a van. We stopped at loads of unreal spots along the way to take photos.

We even caught a glimpse of the backdoor bandit, who surprised Cass from behind...

Legend has it, he targets rim bullies who rarely let their friends ascend a flight of stairs in peace! Justice served, I say!

Crude jokes aside, it was a magical journey to the fjord.

I’ll let the photos some photos do the talking!

Below is a photo from one of our stops, called Mirror Lakes — and the reflection in the water was insane...

We finally arrived at Milford Sound — and it was proper sound!

We jumped on a boat and cruised through the fjord for two hours, checking out waterfalls, glaciers, and so many rainbows.

It was a fjord full of pride!

We also managed to get ourselves a cheeky glacial facial as well.. Naughty waterfall!

Final Day

Did somebody say Jet Boat?!

We jumped on this pretty souped-up jet boat first thing in the morning, zipping around Queenstown’s lakes and rivers — doing a few tricks, spins, and touristy stops along the way.

Not gonna lie, it was freezing, and you do get sufficiently wet from all the twirly-worlys it pulls.

But it was very cool — and you actually go quiet fast!

After we smashed some Fergpies and waddled our way up the hill to take a trip on the gondola and check out the famous Luge.

The Luge is essentially go-karting down a hill — and it is so much fun. If you’re in Queenstown, this is a must!

Naturally, me and Cass started getting quite competitive. I was taking an aggressive racing line into one of the turns, and... well, Cass couldn’t handle the fact I was about to overtake him.

So he whipped his cart into the side of me — and flipped himself. LOSER!

I was fortunately sling shotted down the hill to victory, while Cass cowered behind his Luge to protect himself from oncoming traffic.

Cass has a different version of these events, but I wouldn’t bother asking him. He’ll just burn your ear off about how I crashed into him, that I should have been disqualified, etc. etc.

Honestly, it’s a bore. I’m yawning just typing this...

Unfortunately, I only have videos of the Luge and Gondola, so enjoy this AI generated image of my triumph.

We finished off the trip with some pizza, pub golf, and farewells to our group.

New Zealand was such a great experience, and I highly recommend doing it with a travel agent. It was so sound not having to worry about anything once we were on holiday.

Tommy (our guide) would just drop a WhatsApp every night with the following day’s plan — what we needed, the weather, etc. The entire trip was just seamless. So shoutout to Intro Travel.

Hope you enjoyed these two travel blogs! I really appreciate any and all feedback and it seems like some of you have forgotten where the like button is...

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