The Land of Zea

Day 1 to 5

Kia Ora! (That’s “hello” in Māori — for you uncultured plebs.)

As many of you know, I spent last week on the South Island of New Zealand slithering up mountains and cruising through fjords. So this week’s post is solely dedicated to chronicling the adventures of me and Mr. Casserly!

Day 1: Christchurch

We flew into Christchurch late Saturday afternoon and met up with the group we’d be spending the next 9 days with. There isn’t actually too much to do in Christchurch and as far as I could tell it was a bit of a nothing city. So we just grabbed some food and parked ourselves in an Irish bar to soak up the local culture.

There are some cool street trams and a botanical garden, but apart from that, it felt just like most towns you'd find in Ireland or England. That said, it did have some pretty awesome ducks.

The botanical gardens were full of paradise shelducks, where the males and females are almost always seen together thanks to their strong pair bonding. The males have black heads, while the females have white ones — so it's really easy to spot them when they're paired up. Every single one I saw was within a few meters of their partner... except for this one poor ducker, who looked sad and widowed.

Days 2-3 : Lake Tekapo

So I realised that New Zealand is mad for its pies! En route to Lake Tekapo, we stopped at an award-winning pie shop to cure our hangover — mainly Sean’s — and it did not disappoint. My diet in NZ was heavily reliant on steak and cheese pies, and I have to say, this one was by far the best.

Then we arrived at Lake Tekapo, and honestly, that’s where the trip really began. We were absolutely blessed with the weather, and the views were just insane. I don’t think I need to say much more. I’ll let the photos below speak for themselves

Lake Tekapo is a Dark Sky Reserve with minimal light pollution, so as cosmic enthusiasts, we took the opportunity to do a bit of stargazing. Fortunately for us, the sun decided to flick a few flares our way, and we got to see the Southern Lights — which were immense. The Milky Way was looking awfully tasty that night too, and we got to peer deep into the universe and spot some nebulae and constellations through a high-tech telescope. The tour guide had a big-ass laser (read in Dr. Evil voice) as well, which he used to point out constellations and explain how they were traditionally used for navigation. Overall, it was a pretty insane experience.

We also had a cheeky little spa day after we hiked Mt. John where Mr. Casserly treated himself to facial and I engaged in some excessive pruning.

Days 4-5: Wanaka

One of the best things about driving through New Zealand is that there’s always something to look at. Unlike Australia, where a vast majority of the country is just... nothing, the entire South Island feels like a postcard. So the drive to Wanaka was absolutely savage, and we took a little detour to check out Mount Cook on the way.

Even with our new friends around, Cass couldn’t keep his hands to himself. The following photos capture the sequence of events — from his completely unnecessary rim tickle during a group photo, to my reaction...

Below are a few photos from Mount Cook (Aoraki) and the Hooker Valley. Unfortunately, only one of the swing bridges was open — but check out the colour of that water. Glacial Flour Thing!

Couldn’t help but sneak in a few scenic handstands as well...

We then arrived in Wanaka, a cute little lakeside village famous for a lone willow tree that grows out of the lake. It is the most photographed tree in New Zealand and it supposedly sprouted from a fence post a farmer placed there back in the day.

I guess that means it must be a very indecisive plant…

Since its always on the fence! Ayeeee..

We hit the dirt track around the lake on mountain bikes, and I was thoroughly enjoying the ride, until I got a little ahead of myself and started taking some excessive risks. I ended up snoting myself on a sharp turn, which swiftly put an end to my scenic handstand quest for the rest of the trip. Cass, after kindly holding in his laughter, proceeded to explain the laws of physics behind my downfall before escorting me back to the bike shop so I could clean myself up.

All these photos are taking up too much space and Substack doesn’t like it! So I’ll be doing a separate post next week for our Queenstown adventures.. Stay tuned!